Monday, May 17, 2010
Today was a unproductive day. Had 2 lectures, 10.30am and 2pm. It basically screwed up my time today.. I had no mood to do anything today. Tried writing my thesis but nothing came to my mind. So I decided to edit the photos but they were so many to edit.
What's going on with me? I seems to have lose my focus around here. Wake up Chin Chin!!! Stop dreaming and get back to reality! I hate the way I'm feeling right now. It's neither here nor there. I tried so hard not to think about it, but it just keeps coming back to me. Deep down I know that it's not gonna happen but the feeling just wont go away. And just when I thought I have sorted out everything, BANG! Everything just came back to me like a bullet train.
Stop being so naive and behaving like a kid. You know that it's impossible and there wont be a good ending to it. Why bother to go down that pathway when you already know the ending? It will only hurt more in the end. You can only blame yourself for everything that has happened up till now.
I have to snap out of it and stop living in my own fantasy world.
The truth is, it's hard to fight back the emotions and pretend nothing has happened. Whatever the situation is, I just have to force myself not to sink deeper into it. I need someone to pull me out of the quicksand that dragging me slowly right now. All the dilemma, frustration and anxiety are killing me right now. I just need to know the truth. Just tell me and I'll be okay. Stop playing games with me cause I really can't take it anymore.
I'm mentally drained...
Pls.. Either be in or out of my life.
think again. 8:15 PM