Monday, April 17, 2006
I'm so heartbroken now...
No, it's not about club stuffs...
My heart just felt the pain when i saw what she wrote... It's as if my heart is pierced by thousand of knives.. Maybe millions.. I don't know why I'm reacting this way.. It was so sudden.. As soon as I saw what she wrote, the pain was felt..
As much as I hate myself for reacting this way, I can't control it. No matter how hard I try to push you to the back of my mind, you still will be in my thoughts.. Especially after what I saw on the blog.. Though I know it's not true, I can't help but to think of it. The pain is so unbearable..
The thought of you in another school makes me heartbroken.
The thought of not being able to see you again makes my heart bleed.
The thought of you and other girls makes my heart bleed even more.
You were the one who said that you'll be always there for me and care for me.. But I don't feel it.. Ok.. I understand that you're now busy with your school work and got alot of catching up to do.. So I can't blame you for that.. But what I hope is that you will remember what you said to me..
If you're the kinda person who says a set and makes a set ( shuo yi tao, zuo yi tao), then I'm utterly disappointed in you.. But I don't believe you're this kinda person.. So please don't tarnish the good image that I have of you..
All I want is just a simple message.. Even a simple good morning will make my day.. Isn't really that difficult to do? Damn.. I hate myself so behaving this way.. It's been a month and I still can't let go.. But I don't want to cause I'm so sick of breaking-up.. I will move on.. I'll still laugh and crap with my friends.. Enjoying life as never before.. But the heart will just stop.. Memories keep flashing through my mind every single night before I sleep.. Tears still fill my eyes every single night.. Tears of sorrow and regrets..
This is damn emo entry.. I'm really damn stressed and need to vent out all my thoughts here.. Sorry guys if my attitude towards you all wasn't good in the past..
I sincerely apologise to you all...
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Time will heal all wounds.. It seems to me that this time, no matter how much time I have, it will not cease the pain.. I know it. Cause this time, this was a special relationship.. One that I nv experienced before.. I know some of my friends will say that's what I always say when I'm out of relationship. But this time it's different.. I can feel it.. The memories are too precious to me.. I may forget all the past relationship. But not this one. Not this particular one.
think again. 12:56 AM
